Classroom Management Be Damned!

Every year, thanks to our union, we are assured ten "professional development" days. In my opinion these alloted days symbolize everything wrong with Baltimore City. When you attend these "workshops" there is often a lack of parking, space and necessary motivational food. They attendance tracking is sketchy, at best, allowing the worst teachers (and the only ones who might benefit from being there) to escape. The "classes" are taught by second and third year teachers. The focus of all learning is on content, BCRs, and academic achievement.

I propose we have lots of parking, air conditioned room, armed guards at check in and all courses being taught by jujit-su champs/sumo wrestlers/angry chain-weilding moms. The topic will be, "How to manage a classroom of students." In these classes they will prepare students for the unthinkable and answer the unanswerable. They will tell you to what extent you are allowed to put your hands on students and when. They will tell you when you should refer a student to the office and what you can expect as a punishment (thus troubleshooting when you send a kid out threatening big trouble, only to have them back in your class in 20 minutes, looking at you like you are a dumbass). They will provide you with hints... hints that no one else will admit to using, but do. They will also show you how to deal with irate parents effectively. They will educate you on how and when to pick your battles. There will be an open bar at this professional development, attendance will REALLY be mandatory and it will be useful.

And, Alonso, we deserve more than rail liquor. Thanks.